#995 Fruit flies.

Nasty, right? I hate them more than Hitler (an obvious exaggeration). They never leave me ALONE. They're everywhere. Tiny little flies that try to attack me. And okay, my house is CLEAN but those little piecew-9gldshglakfgadfg...OMG ONE JUST FLEW INTO MY FACE. It was SO angry! Guys-can they read?!? I think they can!

Fly: You writin' about me bitch?!

Sigh. Last night I was lying down in bed watching HSN and I killed about 4 or 5 of them that were flying into my TV screen. The worst is when you have to find disposable killing devices.
"My shoe?? No, no, I have to wear that tomorrow. Uhhhh, how about this...[picks it up] this is an important document...FUUUU----". I never have tissue lying around so I have to use things I don't really want to dirty with fly blood but I..I... just haaaavvvve to...you know? I just hate them. They're perverts. They get too close and personal. They keep coming too! Where do they come from!? They travel in troops.


Yup.

I HATE THEM!

p.s. I just killed another one.

#996 False Advertising/ Infomercials

When the product you desire does not do its function.

It's common knowledge, at least to the intelligent people of the world, that buying something from TV is never a safe bet, ESPECIALLY if its something "new" or "re vamped."

And it's even more annoying when they pretend as if a similar product has never been on the market and they are creating something completely new. *cough* Slap Chop *cough*

And they ALSO make it seem like without this product, your life is going to END. As if the product they created will make your entire life easier, will change your luck, will open up the heavens and persuade God to bless you with the ability to solve every problem in your life financially, socially, and emotionally.

Most of all I hate this FUCKING nail polish that's SUPPOSED TO BE GLOW IN THE DARK. But it's DEFINITELY NOT.


I HATE IT!

#997 Corporate Anti-Vegetarianism

Me: Do you guys like...have a salad without meat?

Wendy's Girl: Uh...yeah our Caesar Side Salad...and our Regular Side Salad...

Me: Alright can i just have the Caesar Side Salad? No meat, right?

Wendy's Girl: (With 'TUDE) Yeah no I just said, no meat.

(20 minutes later, in my car, far away from Wendy's)

Me: Yeah this salad has bacon bits in it.


Now I know it's a little unfair to label the entire Wendy's chain anti-vegetarian. But seriously, a paying customer should expect certain things from food the service industry.

I expect that the person serving me, educated or not, should know what they're selling. I expect them to know their product enough to know what it has and does not have. I expect my cashier to know that bacon is, in fact, meat and I expect to not have meat in my salad when I've been given an "are-you-freaking-dumb? I-just-said-there-was-no-meat" attitude.

For future reference, I'm donating the following diagram to the Wendy's corporation for training purposes. They can place it right beside the "Employees Must Wash Hands" signs placed in the back. They should also send it through corporate e-mails so it can be passed down in an umbrella-like fashion, all the way down to the cashiers.

The very concept of putting bacon bits in a salad is ridiculous in the first place. Nevermind the fact that I'm a vegetarian, people order salads as a healthier option. It's SO much healthier, I bet, now that you've doused it with chunks of fried crunchy pig. It's like...hey, I'm a smoker, but I'm going to quit smoking because I heard it's harmful. I'm going to place my DSLs around a non-filtered Massachussets School Bus exhaust pipe instead.

Don't get me started on the fact that they don't really even have real vegetarian options. As if this would alienate the rest of their customers or feel they'll lose money because having a 94 percent meat menu realy isn't enough meat. Effing meat quota or some effing thing.

I HATE IT!

#998 People who tailgate my vehicle.

I know I posted an entry not too long ago but I just got home after driving to CVS with my friend. On the way there these assholes in a Lexus tailgated me most of the way. I was reminded of how aggravating driving can be. What did they expect? There were people in front of me. What was I going to do? "Go-go gadget hovercraft!!!"...or whatever. The worst is when they drive to the side (like in the picture) to see what is going on in front of me. Thanks for being my eyes asshole. I KNOW what the fuck is happening in front of me and you acting like a douchebag isn't going to help the situation. Don't they think that if I had tons of space in front of me I would drive a little faster? Every time I catch a glimpse of these tailgaters they're always laughing at me and most of the time they're a bunch of guys or "Wangstas". There's always the one sitting in the middle of his two friends in the backseat leaning forward and pointing. I just want to slam on my brakes and watch him fly through the windshield and over my car. The other day I was driving downtown and this large truck was behind me and was inches away from my bumper. He ALMOST hit me when I stopped at a red light. The best part is that those people then proceed to get angry at you like it's YOUR fault. Oh and the speed limit is 35 and I'm already going 40. Sorry but I'm not going to go 50+ just to make you happy. I drive at the speed limit and if you don't like it you can screw.

Part of me thinks that they're just jealous of my car. I mean look at it (it's the red car).
I'm coming to the conclusion that they just want to sabotage the beauty that is my 1996 Honda hatchback. You don't find those babies anymore and I'm one of the few lucky owners. Those bitches just miss having to scoot over to the passenger seat to roll down the window and let's not forget the joy of having to get out of the car in order to let your homies into the backseat. I know, I know. Be jealous assholes.

But I swear to GOD almighty ONE DAY I am going to slam on my brakes so hard that the people behind me won't know what happened.

"Sorry officer. A squirrel ran in front of my car!!"

Don't worry. I already have an entire speech memorized.


I HATE IT!

#999 The 80's

Alright. Why would ANYONE ever want the 80's to come back?? I watch/read a lot of style vlogs and blogs and so many people are filled with this insane glee when they purchase something they THINK was in style in the 1980's.
Baggy sweatshirts with Mickey Mouse printed on them. I actually heard a girl say she wanted one and that she would search every thrift store until she found one. You were born in the late 1980's therefore, you have no idea how much torment a teen during the 80's suffered whilst wearing one of those sweatshirts. It may be cool to you now but if you were 14 in 1983 walking around the halls of your high school getting records of Billy Joel's hit single, "Uptown Girl" thrown at you...HA, you would think a little differently wouldn't you?
p.s. look at how miserable that person looks in that photo. Really gaze into her/his eyes.

I just can't stand it. They call clothes from the 80's 'vintage'. It's NOT vintage. It's SHIT. There I said it. You're not cooler if you buy a pair of gel sandals and a B.U.M. sweatshirt and wear them with your favorite pair of tights and a fedora. I have a photograph of me from the first grade and in it I'm wearing a B.U.M. sweatshirt and holding a stuffed animal Huskey. Whenever I look at that photograph I now understand why that kid Tyler said he wanted to smash a pair of soccer cleats into my face. I understand! It HAD to be the 80's style clothing my parents made me wear.

I don't know why it annoys me. Do people think they're fasionistas because they wear that crap?
I doubt they even like it. They just buy it to make a statement. What kind of statement are you making? "Oh look every body! I'm a douchebag!" Down below is an example of what modern clothing stores are putting on their shelves. I don't understand. How is that attractive? OH WAIT, I know! Because the 80's are coming back!!!!!

























I HATE IT.

#1000 When you have more constructive things to do, but you start a hate-blog instead

Sam: I hate when I accidentally bite my cheek while eating. GAH!

Jayo: Oh man. that's on my worst hated list. In fact...because I'm such a negative person...I will start a blog called #1000 things we hate

Sam: OMG. Do it! Please.

Jayo: Oh man...I could make you and anyone else a co-writer so there'll be constant updates. haha

Sam: LMAO. That's a genius idea. Together we hate so many things!

Jayo: Haha. We're haters.

Sam: :)

Jayo: Hold on...this will take 11 seconds.






DONE! E-mail me at noypi1@gmail.com or facebook me (or sam) if you want in on this educational, thrilling experience.

I should really be doing something constructive though, like reading or developing instrument skill. But I've resorted to blogging.

I HATE IT!