#990 Psychiatrists

It's no secret that I have an anxiety disorder (or is it? I'm pretty sure I've told most people, ahaha). During my Freshmen year of college I started an anxiety medication after getting approval from my therapist on campus. My therapist was amazing (I haven't seen her in a while though-WAH). Our sessions were very productive and even though she suggested Lexapro she also did cognitive behavioral therapy with me. That plus my new medication helped me tremendously! A few months later I was sent to a psychiatrist because I needed a more specific diagnosis other than just Generalized Anxiety Disorder or G.A.D. I learned VERY quickly that therapists and psychiatrists arevery, VERY different. I've only seen him two or three times in the past year and a half yet he has been so APT to give me new medications. He listened to me talk for less than 15 minutes and already had sent my pharmacy a script for a medication. At first I was like, "Hmmm, maybe he's just good at what he does? I mean, he did go to Yale!!" but after a while I became much more weary of his antics and so did my primary care doctor in my town. It seemed like he just wanted to get his patients in and out and didn't really care what they had to say. All he saw was: $$$$$$.
I have trouble sleeping sometimes because I get very anxious at night. My mind races and it just keeps me up! I told him this and he put me on this medication called-Trozodone. It's an anxiety medication which, I guess, can double as a sleeping aid. He gave me an extremely LOW does, which was good. I've been taking it for a year now and I ran out of refills just a few days ago and now I am in withdrawal. My primary care doctor doesn't want me on this medication because she says I'm too young etc (We both agree that I need to stop taking the medication ASAP). I feel like a heroine addict who just stopped heroine cold turkey. I've been experiencing heart palpitations, night sweats, crying spells, irritability and other stuff. Like WTF!? I wasn't expecting this to happen at all and I am NOT going to go to Providence to see this crack pot psychiatrist just so he can give me refills and then charge me $75 dollars for 10 minutes. He'll also probably suggest some new medications!! Fuck. THAT. I don't understand how a psychiatrist/person can just hand out medicine like candy and not give a fuck that it can be potentially dangerous. He doesn't even call to see how I'm doing. At the time I got the medication it seemed really appealing because I was in a state of desperation but now...HA, fuck Trozodone. He was like, "I even take this mediciation on long flights! It knocks me right out." So it can't be addicting, right? WRONG. I am now discovering how dependent I became on Trozodone. So now my primary doctor and I are working to help me cope without it.
When I first went to that psychiatrist I was 18, now I'm 20. I'll never go to him again.
I'm probably making a sweeping generalization that all psychiatrists are crooks but...it's probably true.

Try not to take any medications if you can help it AND really research a psychiatrist before you visit them (you're better off with a nice and caring therapist) because:

I fucking HATE IT!



[I hope you don't mind, Sam, but I'm attaching this song below from Next to Normal, which won best musical at this year's Tony's. It's extremely appropriate. -Jayo]