1000 Things We Hate

#972 pop-punk tracks circa the early '00s with whiny lead vocals

2011-03-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

Before you start this post, please scroll down, click the first link, and let it play as you read for a fuller, more comprehensive experience.

This is an extremely specific thing to hate. I'm talking EARLY '00s POP-PUNK TRACKS WITH WHINY VOCALS. ALL OF IT. Think of a pop-punk track. Was it released in the early '00s? Does it have whiny vocals? Above all, did it reach the top 5 on TRL? Was it retired from TRL from being played so goddamn often? Anything that falls under this umbrella I hate with a fiery passion.

A lot of people I grew up with/went to school with/am still forcibly aware of because of the Internet connect early '00s pop-punk with great memories of their formative years. This includes: becoming a tween/teen, connecting with "real" musician-based music for the first time (/becoming a "music snob"), going to their first concert, losing some sort of virginity, forging some sort of identity, chewing gum, not giving a fuck, finding a "scene," writing lyrics in ballpoint pen on the rubber parts of a pair of SCUFFED UP converse all-stars-- etc. So like, basically, they hear something by Blink 182 and feel a warm nostalgia. I, in turn, feel annoyed, annoyed, annoyed, and also annoyed.

A few years ago, Blink 182, after going on an indefinite hiatus after the pop-punk craze of the late 90's/early to mid '00s died down, decided they'd get back together and go on a reunion tour. You better fucking BELIEVE basically everyone you and I knew in middle/high school were first in line for tickets. I was like "huh." Music is subjective and I'm not judging you if you still like Blink 182 as an adult who has probably been exposed to a billion better, more creative bands, because you connect them to a certain nostalgic period in your life and feel a connection to them for that reason. I think that's like, nice. It's nice as fuck, actually. BUT to actually try to say that they're one of the best bands, musically, of all time, etc. (which is something I read a lot of via facebook statuses, etc.) is kind of weird to me. I mean, they certainly inspired a lot of other bands, which is cool. But were the bands they inspired any better than Blink 182 themselves? None that I'm aware of (correct me if I'm wrong). I heard a lot of Good Charlotte's and Sum-41's and PANIC AT THE DISCO'S citing them as inspirations, but is that even, like, a good thing? Is it enough to be calling them some GREAT band? I don't know. I don't think so but I'm not educated in music at all. I'm just saying this as someone who watched shitloads of TRL in the early '00s.

Personally, I hate this music, and it's not even because it fucks with the sanctity of punk, pop, rock n' roll, or whatever; it probably has a lot to do with the fact that I connect it with the vibe or atmosphere that was present at my particular High School which was like, if you were in a terrible metal or pop-punk band, you were high on the popularity totem pole (with a few exceptions obviously, but overall). Our school was horrible at sports, so making a sports team was pretty meaningless when compared to being able to strum a few power chords and sing in a whiny voice at the annual Battle of the Bands competition. You better fucking BELIEVE people had on wristbands. Wristbands, baby, for when we sweat in the MOSH PIT in the AUDITORIUM at our SUBURBAN HIGH SCHOOL at 8:45 PM.

Well anyway, we've gotten off topic here because my bitterness about my entire childhood experience got in the way.

Here's a list of a few songs I loathe from this time period, just so you can get a feel for it.

01. Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional. This song is KING of this post even though it peaked in popularity toward the mid '00s. All I need is to hear one line of this guy singing this song and I feel undeniable hate and annoyance instantly.

02. Miss You by Blink 182. Tom Delonge's stupid fucking voice is a piece of fucking shit compared to the other guy's. Actually, it's a piece of shit compared to any other sound in the world. I'd rather hear a giant metal claw scrape against a chalkboard for 3 minutes than this song. Maybe I should've limited my Blink 182 rant to only the songs Tom sings lead on. Whatever, it's too late now. Pretend I did. I only know Tom's full name because it's burned into the "hate" section of my brain. His voice repulses me on such a personal level. Every time I hear it it's like someone's yelling "fuck you" at me really loudly, like, right in my face.

WHERE AWWWRRRR YOOOUUU? AND OYM SO SAWWRRYYYY. I CANNOT SLEEP, I CANNOT DREAM TANOIGHT.

03. Ocean Avenue by Yellowcard. Nigh-height.

04. Taking Back Sunday - Cute Without the E. HOLY WOW, you guys. I just listened to this for purely journalistic purposes (because I owe you the best blogs possible.) WOW. This is worse than I even remember it being. I heard the first line of vocals and actually considered deafening myself to fully prevent ever having to hear them again. I mean, right now I was able to pause it and move on with my life, but what about in the future? This song kills me on a whole crazier level when I think of how EXTRAORDINARILY popular Taking Back Sunday was amongst the coolest of the cool altz at my school. This was "the shit". Think about that! WOW.

05. New Found Glory - All Downhill From Here. I actually laughed out loud when the vocals of this one started. How the fuck was this taken seriously by human beings? I know we were teens... I know. But how?

06. Avril Lavigne - Complicated. Here's the First Lady of early '00s pop-punk with her first hit single wherein she bemoans her alt bff becoming a preppy fake asshole who doesn't like trashing stupid mainstream stores at the mall with her to pass the time because he's all like, "the employees at these stores make next to nothing, isn't it kind of bullshit to ride mini ATVs and fuck with their displays when it doesn't affect 'the man' at all, just the people working there to put themselves through college and/or support their families" and she and her crew were like, wow fuck you and your country club cardigan ASSHOLE. Go listen to U2 or something, DAD.

Her vocals slice through me on this track like no other. They're whiny as shit, especially the last "noOOOoooOO--Ooooo" that closes out the song.

07. Addicted by Simple Plan. I'm a dick. I'm addicted to you. SICK wordplay on the part of the guy who writes the lyrics in this band. Coming from a band with an album titled "No pads, no helmets... just balls" you're gonna have to expect some CLEVER SHIT from these dudes. The song is terrible. The lead singer's voice, at the very least, sounds like a pile of bullshit. I picked this one because I'm pretty sure it was their first single or something, but honestly, any one of their songs fits here. He sounds like shit in ALL OF THEM. Just whiny and shitty and awful. WHOA okay, I just decided to google what their actual first single was. It was this song called I'm Just a Kid. Please, if you do nothing else today, LISTEN TO THIS SONG.

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare / I'm just a kid and I know that it's not fair / Nobody cares because I'm alone/ and the world is having more fun than me.

The world is having more fun than me.

I just did some more research and the song was released in 2002, and the guy writing this shit was born in 1981. That means these lyrics were written in a sincere fashion by a 20/21 year old man. 20 years old, guys. We have it good with Taylor Swift in 2011. We have it really fucking good. She's Shakespeare in comparison to what teens were (apparently) relating to in the early '00s. This has taken a depressing turn, so I'll end here.

Needless to say, I HATE IT!!!

What's your most hated song from this era in pop-culture history???? REPLY BELOW.

#973 Group Projects.

2010-10-04T13:18:00.000-07:00

The first thing I'm looking for on any given syllabus the first day of class is if there's gonna be a group project. I SCAN the page like a fucking robot programmed to look for the words "group+project" and when I find it... nothing makes sense anymore. I have a small crisis right there at my desk. Inside my head I'm cursing the Professor's very existence. I guess the only thing I can compare scanning the syllabus like this to is when you're waiting for your online bank account to load. There's that same overwhelming sense of dread. NOT finding a group project in there is a small victory; much like finding out you have more than $0 in your checking. So what I'm trying to say is, the monetary value of a group project is $0. Plus a $30 overdraft fee because you just HAD to get that coffee coollatta and didn't give a fuck at the time but now it's like FUCK that shitty drink cost me $30???????? IT WASN'T EVEN THAT GOOD

Let me take this to da next level: anything is preferable to a group project to me. ANYTHING. 100 question cumulative final exam? Sounds fair, count me in! 15-page term paper? Awesome, I'm totally game! Group project? NO. This is NEVER OK! It could be a class titled "working 2-gether 101" and a group project would still piss me off. I'm like an animal who tried to eat a rabbit, but it turns out that rabbit was decaying and that shit made me throw up for like 9 hours. Okay? Go with me here. So now I HATE rabbits. I don't wanna ever try to eat a fucking rabbit again. Why would I? That one rabbit made me throw up for 9 HOURS. Well every time I'm assigned a group project it's my stupid ass doing someone else's part plus my own, squinting at the computer screen for days, wondering if throwing myself off a bridge is too dramatic, etc. So it doesn't really matter if in the future I'm blessed with a hard-working group (lol @ the very thought) because I'm always gonna expect the 9 hours of throwing up. I DON'T WANT TO DO ANY MORE GROUP PROJECTS OKAY???

More absolute bullshit: I've been in groups with people who are ACTUALLY stupid. I'm talking undeniably, unequivocally, stupid. They don't understand this world at all. They're on a beautiful cloud while you and I are stuck on the horrible Earth. They get 70's on tests and feel a sense of pride. "At least I passed!" they say. "These credits will be transferable because I got above a D!" they CRY. Am I gonna get extra points for dealing with them? No. Am I gonna get extra points for ~guiding them, ~teaching them to spread their wingz and fly, ~writing their entire section over because what they did was FUCKING STUPID? NO. No! Being in a group project is a thankless fucking job. Also, I don't have time for this. I have other classes. Meeting awkwardly with people who don't do work to the same standards as mine is a waste of time.

The truly insane thing: I've never met a human being out there who looks forward group projects in my LIFETIME. That means even the lazy motherfuckers who unload all the work onto the "leader" of the group (reader, you better believe that person is always me) don't even like doing them. I've honestly never been in a group that has had an even distribution of effort in my life. Frankly, I feel like such a group is a MYTH. So just imagine being the terrible person who watches as everyone else does all the work for you, getting an A, and still feeling like "wow, I really H8 group projects." It's PURE LUNACY. And no one learns from them, either. What exactly are we learning? How to bullshit, that's what. I can't even say that I like watching them. All I consistently get out of these is a seething hatred for my fellow man. So why we gotta play this game? Why?

This post is brought to you by the group project I have due tomorrow at 9:30 AM

I HATE IT!!!!

NO MORE GROUP PROJECTS

CAN I GET AN AMEN

2010-09-10T13:50:00.000-07:00

#974-Douche-Ass Motorcyclists

2010-08-17T17:43:00.000-07:00

Nothing hurts me more than driving and witnessing an asshole on a motorcycle try to SHOW OFF by revving their engine and speeding in front of moving vehicles. Do you ACTUALLY think any of us drivers are impressed? WE AREN'T. All we see is a complete douche bag with a death wish acting like an idiot. You NEVER wear a helmet. Why? Are you afraid people will judge you and call you "gay" (Hillary Duff, don't stick your two senses into this blog post)? AND not only are you putting yourself in danger but you are also scaring the SHIT out of me because if I fucking HIT YOU, I'll be SCREWED. And when you're sprawled out on the pavement, I hope your entire body hurts and I hope the angels that are coming to take your soul, call you "gay" and then torment you like your classmates in high school did. I know, I know. The locker room sucked for you because you had and still have a small penis. Don't over compensate by buying a bright red motorcycle and putting everyones' lives in danger. And just another thing-your wife beater billowing in the wind is so dumb. I hate looking at it.

So my advice? Wear a helmet. Your head will thank you. Stop wearing tank tops and cargo pants. Wear some leather like the guy in the photo above. It'll help your skin when you're sliding on the pavement after a failed Poppa Wheelie. Okay? Thanks.

#975 Slowed-down Acoustic Covers of Dance or Pop Singles

2010-08-07T10:52:00.001-07:00

The slowed-down acoustic cover of a dance or pop song is performed most frequently by a white girl with an acoustic guitar, but they can also be achieved with the help of a friend-who-plays acoustic guitar, or a with a portable Casio keyboard. These started popping up more and more after the release of Rihanna's single "Umbrella" which every white person with an acoustic guitar decided to record themselves covering in the summer of 2007. Even Mandy Moore (from 'A Walk to Remember'? Sang that one song 'Candy'? No?) got a piece of that action. There's a certain kind of person out there that likes dance or pop singles but feel they're too fast, too catchy, too enjoyable at their current tempo, and have the intense urge to slow them down. What they don't realize is that dance songs have INCREDIBLY shitty lyrics 98% of the time. That's why they're put to fast music-- it distracts the listener. Sometimes I'll be singing along to something and not even register what the fuck I'm saying. That's the beauty of pop music! At work sometimes I'll catch myself actually mouthing the words "honey got some boobies like wow-oh-wow" -- would I do the same if the song was acoustic and slowed down? Hell the fuck no. There's just some words that shouldn't be put to acoustic guitar.

Nowadays you can search for literally any dance and/or pop single on YouTube and find a slowed-down version. To test this theory, I tried to to think of a current song with the worst possible lyrics to hear slowed down. Answer: RUDE BOY by Rihanna.

Check it the fuck out:

Can she sing pretty well? Yes. Can he play guitar pretty well? Yes. But I didn't enjoy this at all because THOSE HIDEOUS LYRICS become 900x more hideous when I'm allowed to pay attention to them without being distracted by up-tempo background music. WHY???

Another PRIME example:

I HATE IT!!!

#976 People Who Scream "Sing" in Choir Settings

2010-08-05T11:57:00.000-07:00

We all know you LOVE to sing but we're in a CHORUS, a CHOIR. Definition: An organized company of singers. You are not the lead singer in your own band. When you SCREAM "sing" it hurts everyone around you. I don't care if you're mother fucking ELAINE PAGE who has the voice of an ANGEL. Lower the volume! If you want to hear yourself sing, get the heck out of the chorus. All you're doing is straining your body and making it harder for everyone around you to sing. AND screaming the lyrics makes ALL OF THOSE around you sound like pure crap. It ruins the sound of the chorus. Everything is supposed to sound uniform but you constantly and WITHOUT fail mess it up! So next time, please, stop. Okay?

I HATE IT!

#977-Fake Laughing in Order To Preserve Friendship

2010-08-04T09:27:00.000-07:00

No one can REALLY force you to do anything you don't want to do BUT everyone has felt obligated to fake laugh at one point or another. I usually fake laugh to make people feel better about themselves or to fill awkward silences. There is NOTHING worse than witnessing someone crack a joke, it NOT being the least bit funny and then NO ONE laughing. It hurts me to witness this! Oh and it's ESPECIALLY worse when the joke-cracker is doing stand-up or is in a comedy group! They continually humiliate themselves in front of crowds and it's just.....GAWD. It legitimately hurts PHYSICALLY to fake laugh. Ever notice? Your face muscles have to work EXTRA hard to pull this fake laughter off. It's draining. I think I've fake laughed over 1,000,000 times in my life. I think I fake laugh at LEAST once every day. I'm not claiming to be this EXPERT on what is humorous BUT when you don't feel like laughing you just DON'T feel like laughing! Something goes off in your brain when something tickles your funny bone. Maybe my funny bone is defective?

I've been to comedy shows where the room ERUPTS into laughter at the most unfunny things. I look around the room thinking, "Really? What am I missing?" I am then CONVINCED that 85% of the people around me are fake laughing out of compassion and pity. They HAVE to be! OR AGAIN, I'm an idiot and don't "GET" comedy. Sorry, but I don't think someone screaming, "poop" at the top of their lungs is funny. Why do you? Okay, we're ALL different so MAYBE something INSIDE of you (is it genetic?) makes you THINK that certain things are funny. Who the FUCK KNOWS.

BACK to the point: Fake laughter hurts. I'm going to get fake-laugh lines on my face and be pissed for years. And ALTHOUGH fake laughter can make people FEEL GOOD, don't you think we're causing permanent damage? This person or these people are going to stroll around town thinking they're this accomplished comedian and it's ALL a lie. And if we STOPPED fake laughing altogether, maybe we wouldn't have to endure being around unfunny people? They would just STOP altogether?

Again, DISCLAIMER PEOPLE, I KNOW people have fake laughed at my jokes (everyone has been a victim of fake laughter) BUT I can detect the fake-ness. I have this "bullshit" radar. SO ONCE people have fake laughed at my jokes, I STOP. A lot of people have this radar.

Let's STOP fake laughing. Our faces will thank us and so will the unfunny people we fake laugh at.

I HATE IT.

#978-"Progressive" Commercials

2010-08-03T11:28:00.000-07:00

We get it. You're cute, helpful and cheery. Personally, I've had enough of you and your awkward shenanigans. Whenever you appear on my television screen, I die a little inside.

Sorry ~*gurl*~

I hate it!

#979 Mornings

2010-08-03T06:19:00.001-07:00

I had forgotten what mornings felt like.

What the hell are they for? At noon, when the sun is at its brightest, the coffee tastes that much better, the people are that much nicer, and real work actually begins. What's with the foreplay? Why do we insist on dragging the working class to work at 8 or 9am, only to have them sit at an office, and dully, inefficiently, sluggishly pound away at a keyboard without any recognition of what they are actually supposed to be doing.

I've heard the myth about "morning people", and people will use this excuse for why the work day starts so early, but has anyone actually met a morning person? Do people actually get up in the morning, stretch their arms above their heads, and scream "Activity!". I don't believe such a person exists, and no amount of Saturday morning cartoon depictions can successfully drill this into our youth.

How about we stop with the delusion that morning is useful for anyone below the age of 60, cancel breakfast indefinitely, have a law that people are not to be seen outside of their homes at 10am (a form of martial law I WOULD support), and we can all go on with our lives. Deal?

I hate them!

#980-Mattress Sheets

2010-08-01T21:19:00.000-07:00

Dude. Mattress sheets/covers NEVER stay on. EVER. I am so sick of it. Every damn night mine slips off and I'm left sleeping on this plastic mattress cover I use to protect me from allergens that thrive in the actual mattress. AND I HATE putting them on! I can never get it JUST RIGHT. You have to lift the mattress, move it from side to side, sprawl your body out on the bed, stretch your arms etc. What next? A fucking algebra equation? GOD. DAMMIT. MATTRESS!!!!!

#981-Arrogant Ass-Hats

2010-08-01T18:17:00.000-07:00

Arrogant mother fucking ASS-HATS. WE ALL know one OR multiple. They walk amongst us and make us miserable with their fucking dumb as hell know-it-all attitudes. The thing is: They don't know ANYTHING! They convince people that what they say is actually legitimate and intellectual and most of the time people BUY THEIR BULLSHIT. THEY BUY IT like the bullshit is precious merchandise: "Yes. Yes. Good point." Have you ever been in a room with someone who purposely puts on this air of professionalism and superiority to impress people when deep down YOU know that their brain is a pile of nothingness? Just an abyss? A BLACK HOLE? And you end up sitting there and LISTENING to this person go on and on trying to debunk scientific facts or historical events i.e. "Guys, listen. I've done my research and I'm almost positive that, logically, because I'm majoring in logistics, that there is no such thing as 'infinity'. [Leans back and smirks]." And there's always those two or three people who sit there, listen INTENTLY and then try to engage in a deep, meaningful conversation with them. Within MINUTES the air in the room is polluted with stupidity. Usually these people comment on politics or other worldly issues but never know ANYTHING about them. THAT has to be the worst offense. I've never interjected with a comment BEGGING them to stop because usually I have walked out of the room BUT I WISH I had.

Not only do these ass-hats start insubstantial conversations in private i.e. their living rooms but they take their pseudo-intellectual attitude with them into EVERY DAY life. They act this way at lunch, in class, at parties etc. It simply never ends. They'll comment on what you're eating, on what you're wearing. EVERYTHING. THEN they translate their idiocy into TEXT. You'll read Facebook statuses, for example, that make you question reality-"Am I living in a dream? [Grasps totem and weeps]." Examples of what I speak of:

"Read 'The Iliad' while simultaneously working out on my Bow Flex. SUPER exhausted. How will I ever make it to my 9-5 job on time?"

OR the sarcastic/humorous Facebook statuses that they've MASTERED because sarcasm is the best way to disguise ignorance:

"Racism? It obviously doesn't exist! I mean, we have a black president and mexicans are EVERYWHERE! Press 2 for SPANGLISH, PEOPLE." (I couldn't think of a good example but fuck it. You get it!)

And let me just comment on the 'sarcasm' thing: Everyone uses sarcasm because it can come in handy AND it can be funny! HOWEVER, ass-hats use it 24/7. You can never have a normal conversation with them because they're constantly crackin' jokes. I don't know why. Maybe it boosts their ego to be the "funny, smart guy/girl"? But usually they aren't really funny nor are they smart.
OH and let me comment on how so many of these folks think they're incredibly attractive and have to comment on it all of time, usually sarcastically but whatever-"Guysssss, don't hate me because I'm so good looking!" And then he/she strolls about campus thinking that men/women want to sex them up. No. No. No.

Just stop. I mean, I can't stop you from being 'you' but try not to involve everyone that exists around you in your foolishness. It just aggravates us. Although you have a small following of admirers, 85% of the people around you see through the facade you've created for yourself. We know that you're probably sad inside, which is unfortunate because although I'm a bitch, I don't want people to be secretly depressed, ya know? My heart ain't stone. And if this ass-hat attitude ISN'T a facade and you actually ARE a narcissistic person, I feel bad for you.

IN CONCLUSION, stop being an ass-hat. Okay, douchebag?
FUUU-----

#982 The Black Clock

2010-07-30T13:22:00.000-07:00

I am sitting in an empty computer helpdesk, and I am the only person in the entire building. The air conditioner has been turned off for the weekend, and the leather couch is calling my name. Rarely in my life do I experience absolute silence: this ain't no rural Michigan, and I ain't no farmer of genetically modified grain. I have nothing pressing to do, I have no responsibilities at this juncture, I am completely at peace, and there's no sign of inter-

TICK FUCKING TOCK I'M A MOTHERFUCKING CLOCK THAT HAS COMETH TO RAINETH ON YOUR PARADE-TH, SIMPLETON!

The black clock, only a few feet from where I sit, menacingly spins its thin red second hand. Fuck the manufacturing process, I smell the devil is afoot. You don't even spin evenly, I don't think, you cocky, French lesbian. Every second you pound out is another perversion of my eardrums, my personal space is invaded by your insistence on piercing my soul. Spare me your excuses, and spare me your inanimacy: I know your true nature is to harass and belittle me.

Please, black clock, I beg you, black clock, if it were any other day, black clock, I'd let you tick away, black clock. Today, however, I just want to sit on the leather couch in peace, while the time you imitate so willingly passes to the end of my work shift.

Please, black clock, pretty please, black clock?

Thank you black clock, you listened. We truly are friends, aren't we, black clock? I love you, black clock, don't ever leave me.

#983-THE RADIO

2010-07-30T12:23:00.001-07:00

"Airplanes" by B.O.B, "This Afternoon" by NickelBack, "Blah, Blah, Blah" by Kesha, "(I refuse to use a dollar sign as an 'S'. That is just fucking dumb), "California Girls" by Katy Perry, "Cooler Than Me" by Mike Posner etc. All of these songs combined create this extremely POWERFUL force that has almost made me drive my car off of the road and into a telephone pole on multiple occasions. There is NO ESCAPING shitty music anymore and when you're in your car it's even worse. It's as though you're stuck in a tiny prison cell. It has come to the point where a human being doesn't have to have an OUNCE of talent to "make it" in the music industry.

Let's review these lyrics:

"And don't you dare act like you don't know, know what's up. 'Cause your nose is up. I'm approaching up. Like I can't give you Winter in the summer or summer in the winter. Miami in December."

"Boy come on get your rocks stuff. Come on put a little love in my glove box. I wanna dance with no pants on, holla."

"We got weeds in the backyard, four feet tall. Cheech and Chong probably would have smoked them all."

and of course, the EVER POPULAR:

"‎~*~*CaN We pReTeND tHat AiRpLanEs In ThE NigHt SkY aRe LyKe sHoOtInG STarS? I CoUlD RlY UsE A WiSh rIgHt NoW!1!!!*~*~"

I could go on and on and on but I don't want to be responsible for mass suicide.

I don't know about you but when I'm driving I need good tunes to ease my travels. You can't find that anymore and if you're like me and don't have a cd player/tape player in your car then you're stuck with massive amounts of bullshit-"I WANNA BE A BILLIONAIRE ~SO FRIGGIN' BADDDDDD~" NO. NO. NO. NO!!!! "~*tHe paRTY DoN'T sToP 'TiLL I wALk In*~"

And the lyrics aren't even the BIGGEST issue with the songs either. The people SINGING the lyrics make it 10x worse. Nickelback? Do they sand paper their vocal chords before singing? Kesha? What the fuck is wrong with that bitch? Her voice is a mixture between Nick Jonas' screechy yodel singing and a Pterodactyl. Mike Posner sounds like a RAPIST-"you think you're cooler than me." HOW can ANYONE drive while listening to this?!

I never remember toying with the radio tuner THIS MUCH. Doesn't it seem like the radio has taken a HUGE turn for the worse!? In the 90's you could cruise and you didn't really complain. I remember sitting in the passenger seat, eating McDonalds, listening to Celine Dion's, "Coming Back To Me Now" and absolutely LOVING LIFE. And if you weren't feeling Celine's divine vocals, you could change the channel and Seal's sexy as hale voice would great you with, "Kiss From A Rose."

NOW you change the channel from Justin Bieber's "Babbaay babbbaaay" to Eminem and Rihanna's, "LOOK ME IN THE EYEBALL...Spewin' VENOM... ~Love The Way YoU lIe~" It's like choosing between being shot 20 times in the face or being eaten alive by hungry Gorillas.

SIGH. FUUUU----!

# 984-BLOGS

2010-07-30T12:11:00.000-07:00

Yes. I am writing a blog entry about how much I DESPISE BLOGS. SO MANY people are hopping onto this band wagon and the majority of them are arrogant pieces of shizz who just want the opportunity to boast about their lives- "Come read my blog about how to manage graduate school stress!" "Just made a blog about my NEW JOB!" NO. ONE. GIVES. A. DAMN. The only person who is going to read your blog, that is MOST LIKELY FULL of dumb fuckery, are a few Facebook friends and your mom (MAYBE). If you're between the ages of 0-25, have accomplished little to nothing important, and have created a blog giving ADVICE (ESPECIALLY ABOUT THE 'REAL WORLD')-get off of the internet. Am I the only one who feels this way!!? Guys, I am SO PASSIONATE about this. How many people are creating blogs who have ZERO actual intelligence? No one cares about your new job. And NO ONE CARES about how YOU managed to accomplish something i.e. getting into grad school or surviving the S.A.T. Save it for your diary. So maybe I just hate CERTAIN blogs and not ALL blogs. I had to get this out there. HAD. TO.

#985 REALISTIC FRICKIN' DREAMS (take two)

2009-09-05T11:38:00.000-07:00

I just had the worst nightmare of my life, seriously. I think it was a combination of mouthwashing for too long and sleeping on the couch. Either way, I'm afraid to go to sleep again.

This nightmare was FAR worse than anything I said in my previous dreams post. Of all the torturous things my dreams have shown me, I feel as if my mind has outdone itself in its usual dickheadedness.

So the dream begins with my friend Paula Tran, my Sister Jian and I in New York deciding to see Next to Normal (aka one of my favorite Musicals in all of my lifetimes). For some reason, the fact that this theatre was surrounded by cheap diners, a McDonalds and a tire shop weren't red flags for me. We get in line for tickets and amazingly get them really cheap and at no trouble (usually this process would involve lining up at 3 or 4am in the morning outside the Booth Theatre for the $25 Rush tickets). We get tickets for the 4pm performance (which doesn't exist) and have time to kill. As we walk out of the theatre the management stares at us, and I'm not entirely sure why.

We go to get food, but because I can't decide where to eat, we don't end up actually eating. I check my watch, and it says 5pm (it's one hour fast for some reason) so we rush back into the theatre and I hear the piano intro to Next to Normal and get excited that I'm seeing it again.

On finding our seats, I look towards the stage and see a large screen instead of the beautiful blue 3-storey set. I see what kinda looks like Alice Ripley in her red suit thing, but on closer inspection it's actually a heavily concealed Calista Flockhart. I'm extremely sad at this point. The Award-Winning Broadway musical seems to have been converted into an extended Toyota ad set in Colonial times and starring, in addition to Calista as Diana, John Lithgow as a wacky version of Dan. One need not be familiar with the musical to know how disastrous and disappointing a film-musical remake/adaptation set in colonial times starring Calista Flockhart and John Lithgow would be.

The musical/film/adaptation/whatever was so terrible,in fact, that my sister walked out complaining about a migrane (extremely sweaty might I add) and Ptran walked out shortly after, answering a non-existent phone call and NEVER RETURNING.

This experiencing has been so damaging that I feel I can no longer watch anything with John Lithgow or Calista Flockhart again. Neither can I listen to the Next to Normal soundtrack without double checking the artist column in iTunes. Finally, I feel as if I can never return to the plantations in Plymouth, MA just in case the insanely in-character colonial-folk burst into avant-garde colonialized versions off what used to be songs from a modern, broken-home, dramatic broadway musical.

Needless to say, I HATED IT!

# 986 Impatient people

2009-08-17T15:06:00.000-07:00

Why can't you wait? WHY? i.e. these two middle aged women (fanny pack and all) waltzed into Dunkin' today and the minute I saw them I KNEW they were going to give me trouble. The first lady orders her food:
"I'd like, uh, a medium hot coffee, two Splenda and cream. Also, a bacon, egg and cheese on a croissant and an order of hash browns for.99 cents PLEASE." Then her friend orders,
"I'll have an ICED coffee, coconut, THREE Splenda and MILK...DECAF. I'll have the same sandwich only on a wheat bagel." I repeat everything back to them and they confirm their order and off I go to make their shit. Mind you, I'm responsible for counter at this point so I have to make everything myself WHICH isn't a big deal because it was the afternoon and we weren't busy. I make the coffees, then I start the sandwiches and hashbrowns. We only have two ovens so obviously it's going to take a few minutes. All of a sudden I hear my co-slave, Amanda, talking and she says, 'Sam! You have counter, right?" I nod my head as I'm wrapping their sandwiches and then Amanda comes over to me and tells me that those two women were bitching about my service and they kept asking where their coffees were. The fatter of the two says, "FIGURES. It's DUNKIN' DONUTS. When will I EVER get my coffee on time!"
WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT?!? I'm not some wizard. PLUS-they planned to sit inside and eat, so what's the rush???? So I bring them their food and coffee and one of them glances at their watch and says, "[aside] Wow. That took...[mumbles an inaccurate amount of minutes]"...right...in...front...of...me.
I'm telling you right now. DO NOT disrespect the people who are dealing with your food. ALSO, have some respect for the people who are getting paid SHIT to serve you. I am ONE person and they knew that.
I walk back to the drive thru area and a couple of minutes later one of the women walks up to the gate and exclaims, "WHERE'S MY OTHER HASH BROWN????" And I tell her, "You didn't order a second order of hashbrowns. I didn't charge you for them." And she goes, "Didn't my friend say she wanted the SAME THING as me?????" At this point I want to slam their heads into the oven and watch them burn.

Are you seriously that impatient??? Firstly, neither of them should have been eating those hashbrowns. Secondly, they can fuck off. My co-workers were telling me that they are regulars and every time they come in they complain. Whyyyyy do they come in then!??!? MAKE YOUR OWN FOOD at home. You'd be doing EVERY ONE a favor. Fucking pricks. And of course part of my job description is to just smile and agree but deep down I want to explode.

Things like that always happen at DD. It's like the customers depend on DD and without it their bodies would just disintegrate into a pile of nothingness.

I HATE IT.

#987 [Title to be decided soon...]

2009-08-16T18:39:00.001-07:00

Both men and women can judge one another based on appearances BUT I've experienced this mostly by men. I become extremely enraged when a man second guesses my abilities as a worker, student, or whatever just because I dress a certain way or look a certain way. "Just another pretty face." So you can't look good and have a brain too? Don't fucking talk down to me because I will rip your throat out. I was told today that I wouldn't get hit on as much if I didn't wear form fitting pants as part of my uniform. So I have to wear baggy pants and make myself feel uncomfortable to try and avoid being harassed? Placing the blame on the woman is a common tactic used by men in positions of power or just men in general to make women feel even LESS in control, to feel guilty. "It's my fault I get harassed!!!" I'm sorry but I WILL NOT make alterations to my appearance just because some men can't keep in it their pants. You know? I make myself up in the morning because I just enjoy it! I'm not an object that you can play with. Little do you know-I could probably end you. Go home and jack off to porn or find a girlfriend who will put up with your shit. They're rare so good luck searching.
On a sort of related note: Today one of my male co-workers said to Alex (a female co-worker of mine) and I that he thinks that he is smarter than both of us combined. I snapped. When someone questions my intelligence based on superficial shit, I seriously turn into a beast. I don't know if he realizes this or not but he has a way of making me feel like a complete child. "Can you handle that?", "You okay over here?" Little comments like that irk me and today I finally let loose and told him how I felt about the situation (more like yelled it). I lost my cool. First of all, he is two years younger than me. Just graduated high school. SO I won't call him a man but instead a BOY. How dare he insult me and think I wasn't going to defend myself. I'm not completely sure if he was making a judgment based completely on my appearance BUT I do know THIS:
I'm goofy. I can come off as being "out there". I like to have fun and I let my guard down a lot. I don't feel the need to constantly be Miss Scholar 24/7 because who the fuck wants to do that? It's exhausting. I made a lion puppet out of a paper bag and a coffee filter because I was bored. I do that because...I JUST DO. Just because I'm a little "weird" doesn't mean I only have half of a brain. SO THIS plus the fact I take pride in my appearance gave this boy the impression that I'm a nitwit, a ditz. Gave him the impression that he can just treat me like I'm not capable of doing simple tasks. I told him I could run circles around him and he said, "You better start running." And what made me lose my cool even more was that he smiled and just laughed at me. He wasn't taking me seriously AT ALL. "Looks like I found your button." I'm glad I told him how I felt. I hardly ever stick up for myself and it felt damn good. Now he knows I will fucking rip his hair out next time he puts me down. Maybe he's just a lost cause. Maybe he's just insecure. But listen SWEETHEART, I'm more than just a pretty face and you better watch your ass while you're around me. Just sayin.

I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

# 988 People who order food at the drive thru window

2009-08-10T19:03:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: I don't tuck my shirt into my pants like the girl does in the photograph nor do I smile that intensely at customers.

When people order food at the speaker and then wait until I'm done ringing them out to ask for MORE food, a part of me dies inside. Most people don't know this but we're on a timer. Yes. A TIMER (I hate it) so we get anxious when it starts to beep at us. But anyway, most people who order at the window act like it's my fault that I didn't know that they wanted a flatbread, for example. "I want a flatbread too :| [sighs]". Okay calm down people. I can't read your freakin' mind!!!! So the combination of the timer going off and my aggravation makes my mind explode. OH OH I FORGOT TO ADD THIS: there are usually other people waiting behind this person...just a line of people. Then when you ask the customer to pull up to the back door so we can hand them their food, they get ANGRY. Seriously? It's not the end of the world but SO many people act like it is. They thrive on Dunkin' Donuts. Without it their heart would stop beating.

# 989 Whales and Sharks

2009-08-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

Looking at photographs of whales or watching video of a shark swimming in the water makes me shiver. I get incredibly uncomfortable at the sight of either of those two creatures. My fear of sharks is much more plausible than my fear of whales. Ever since I can remember I've hated whales. I seriously get so afraid when I see photographs of them or when I hear whale songs. It's so fucking eerie. The fact that creatures the size of buses+++ exist in this world makes me throw up. This is the reason why I dislike being in the water at the beach and I HATE being near water at night. I always imagine a giant whale eye looking up at me from beneath the surface of the water. Guys, I am so freaked out by this post right now. One day my friend Josh and I went to the beach at night just to hang out in the park area and he tried getting me to sit near the water and I almost ran away. Not being able to see into the water is so scary. You never know what lurks in the water! A bunch of fucked up sea creatures are existing down in the depths waiting to attack. The scariest of all whales is the Sperm Whale. Holy shit. My fear of this whale started after seeing the Disney cartoon Pinocchio. The whale that swallows him is horrid. Everything thing about it. Whale watching would kill me. KILL ME. The fact people do that for fun disgusts me. Why would anyone sit in a boat above a bunch of whales? If I was ever in open water amongst whales/any sea creature I would drown myself. That would be my gut instinct. I would be terrified. You know that scene in Free Willy where Willy is slamming himself up against the glass in his tank? That scene makes me cringe in fear. I almost pee myself every time.

I don't understand why I am so afraid but I am.

Sharks are just scary in general. I think most people are afraid of them. They're so gross. UGH.
So many people greet my phobia with, "But sea creatures are SO majestic!!!!! They're mysterious and beautiful!" WHAT?!
I don't know what is worse: Whales or the KKK? The line is blurred.

Omg. Now I keep imagining myself swimming in open water. ,SDKFJHASKDFHSLDJFHLASKDFSDF. Fuck that.

I HATE IT!

#990 Psychiatrists

2009-08-05T10:49:00.000-07:00

It's no secret that I have an anxiety disorder (or is it? I'm pretty sure I've told most people, ahaha). During my Freshmen year of college I started an anxiety medication after getting approval from my therapist on campus. My therapist was amazing (I haven't seen her in a while though-WAH). Our sessions were very productive and even though she suggested Lexapro she also did cognitive behavioral therapy with me. That plus my new medication helped me tremendously! A few months later I was sent to a psychiatrist because I needed a more specific diagnosis other than just Generalized Anxiety Disorder or G.A.D. I learned VERY quickly that therapists and psychiatrists arevery, VERY different. I've only seen him two or three times in the past year and a half yet he has been so APT to give me new medications. He listened to me talk for less than 15 minutes and already had sent my pharmacy a script for a medication. At first I was like, "Hmmm, maybe he's just good at what he does? I mean, he did go to Yale!!" but after a while I became much more weary of his antics and so did my primary care doctor in my town. It seemed like he just wanted to get his patients in and out and didn't really care what they had to say. All he saw was: $$$$$$.
I have trouble sleeping sometimes because I get very anxious at night. My mind races and it just keeps me up! I told him this and he put me on this medication called-Trozodone. It's an anxiety medication which, I guess, can double as a sleeping aid. He gave me an extremely LOW does, which was good. I've been taking it for a year now and I ran out of refills just a few days ago and now I am in withdrawal. My primary care doctor doesn't want me on this medication because she says I'm too young etc (We both agree that I need to stop taking the medication ASAP). I feel like a heroine addict who just stopped heroine cold turkey. I've been experiencing heart palpitations, night sweats, crying spells, irritability and other stuff. Like WTF!? I wasn't expecting this to happen at all and I am NOT going to go to Providence to see this crack pot psychiatrist just so he can give me refills and then charge me $75 dollars for 10 minutes. He'll also probably suggest some new medications!! Fuck. THAT. I don't understand how a psychiatrist/person can just hand out medicine like candy and not give a fuck that it can be potentially dangerous. He doesn't even call to see how I'm doing. At the time I got the medication it seemed really appealing because I was in a state of desperation but now...HA, fuck Trozodone. He was like, "I even take this mediciation on long flights! It knocks me right out." So it can't be addicting, right? WRONG. I am now discovering how dependent I became on Trozodone. So now my primary doctor and I are working to help me cope without it.
When I first went to that psychiatrist I was 18, now I'm 20. I'll never go to him again.
I'm probably making a sweeping generalization that all psychiatrists are crooks but...it's probably true.

Try not to take any medications if you can help it AND really research a psychiatrist before you visit them (you're better off with a nice and caring therapist) because:

I fucking HATE IT!

[I hope you don't mind, Sam, but I'm attaching this song below from Next to Normal, which won best musical at this year's Tony's. It's extremely appropriate. -Jayo]

#991 Realistic Dreams

2009-08-04T15:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, I stole this from Sam's tweets about terrible dreams. A word of caution, this will not be a post outlining how I had a dream about my bike being stolen and it frightened me in my sleep because it was so realistic. To be honest, I'm not a fan of personal belongings (haha) and if I have anything stolen, I probably deserved it. This post will be slightly mopy and depressing. Just the way I like it.

So what a lot of people don't know about me is that I like to get involved in everything (this story has a point, I swear). I support a ton of causes, and will often use my "talents" (loose term) to help out in whatever way I can. Unfortunately, despite my enthusiasm for getting involved in a number of things, I'm in the real world and I can't succeed at everything. Which is fine. When I'm met with rejection, I deal with it. I talk it out for an hour, then I'm over it.

My brain, however, does not deal with it. It's become a fear of mine, my dreams. I don't dream often, to be honest, and when I do, they're terrible and vicious. My dreams are ass holes.

So I applied to be a Resident Assistant at school and, despite making it through to the last step, I was cut. It sucked for a while but I was fine soon after and the next week I was back to killing myself with whatever unecessary activity I could get myself involved with. A week later, though, is when the dreams started. They truly were ass holes. I dreamt that I got an e-mail from Residence Life saying they made an error, and that they wanted me to become an RA. I dreamt that the chosen RAs somehow no longer wanted to be RAs and that I was to step in. I dreamt that I didn't know I was rejected and I turned up to an RA training day and ended up embarassing myself. This was not one night's worth of dreams, this was probably two week's worth of torture.

I would be totally fine if this were a one-off haunting. But this happens every single goddamn time. Maybe I need to see a psychiatrist. How can I be okay in the real world, and then be absolutely desimated by my dreams? Weird subconscious games I have to play every time. And the worst part is always waking up thinking it reality, and it's devastating for that split second when I realize that it isn't true.

Then I return to my postmodern existence as if nothing had ever happened.

Eff that shizz, though.

I HATE IT!

#992 Negativity

2009-08-01T18:01:00.001-07:00

It's kind of ironic that I am posting an entry about how I HATE negativity in a blog dedicated to hatred BUT it must be done. The negativity I'm talking about isn't just disliking certain things that are outside of yourself but things that exist within yourself...if that makes any sense. The worst form of hatred, in my opinion, is being unhappy in your own skin, of disliking who you are, or what you have done or are doing. Example-ish: if something doesn't pan out the way you thought it would and you begin to beat yourself up about it and just wallow in disappointment. That sort of thing. You get the point. This negativity can consume you and it consumed me today. It's going to sound EXTREMELY petty (this is just important to me) but I was practicing my voice today and certain things fell apart. My breathe support was off, I didn't sound like I usually do, my voice tired out too quickly and other things. All of these things combined just made me feel crappy. I began to question my abilities and I just sat and complained about it to my friends. After an hour or so of just constant questioning I realized that my negativity was like adding fuel to a fire. My aggravation and disappointment contributed to the tiring of my voice, to my breathe support being iffy etc (amongst other things like the weather and stuff...blah, blah). How can you make ANY progress when you're doubting yourself? It's a waste of time. But it's hard to be positive sometimes but we all have to be. We have to push through and know that victory can be ours. Certain things take hard work and perseverance is key.

Am I just ranting? Probably. But this entry has helped me get some things out in the open. I promise to try and be positive once in a while, ahaha. You should too!

Conclusion:
Negativity sucks. I guess I can be negative towards negativity!! :)

I HATE IT!

#993 Cellulite

2009-08-01T15:11:00.000-07:00

I can't even blog about this. I get too angry.

All I have to say is:

I HATE IT!

#994 Womanizers/Sexists

2009-08-01T10:30:00.000-07:00

Nothing gets my blood boiling more than womanizers! Those sexist pieces of crap! At Dunkin' Donuts I am constantly being treated like I was born with mental retardation. "Do you need me to repeat it again sweetheart??" No. I don't need you to repeat it again. It was a medium regular.
"You sure??" YES. I am POSITIVE. Now stop smirking at me and quit trying to check out my ass while I put your donuts in a bag. And bitch, there is NO need to count the change I JUST handed back to you because I am a college student who has taken math for a number of years. I think I can handle simple arithmetic/counting. I get so aggravated. Most of them proceed to compliment my appearance, "Wow Samantha. You're gorgeous." I mean, thank you. I appreciate your kindness but you just treated me like a child. If you think I'm going to swoon over you and then give you my number, think again. Some guys go even further and I am left amazed at how much nerve they have. I've had a guy comment on my undergarments. "Nice thong!" First of all...I don't wear thongs but that isn't even the point. You're married and have kids and you're at least 15+ years older than me AND this is Dunkin' Donuts. If I wanted to get sexually harassed on a daily basis I would have applied to a strip club ages ago. No respect...just NO respect. Don't worry boys. You'll get yours. Next time, I won't be Miss. Nice Nice. :)

I HATE IT!

#995 Fruit flies.

2009-07-31T17:38:00.000-07:00

Nasty, right? I hate them more than Hitler (an obvious exaggeration). They never leave me ALONE. They're everywhere. Tiny little flies that try to attack me. And okay, my house is CLEAN but those little piecew-9gldshglakfgadfg...OMG ONE JUST FLEW INTO MY FACE. It was SO angry! Guys-can they read?!? I think they can!

Fly: You writin' about me bitch?!

Sigh. Last night I was lying down in bed watching HSN and I killed about 4 or 5 of them that were flying into my TV screen. The worst is when you have to find disposable killing devices.
"My shoe?? No, no, I have to wear that tomorrow. Uhhhh, how about this...[picks it up] this is an important document...FUUUU----". I never have tissue lying around so I have to use things I don't really want to dirty with fly blood but I..I... just haaaavvvve to...you know? I just hate them. They're perverts. They get too close and personal. They keep coming too! Where do they come from!? They travel in troops.

Yup.

I HATE THEM!

p.s. I just killed another one.

#996 False Advertising/ Infomercials

2009-07-31T13:20:00.000-07:00

When the product you desire does not do its function.

It's common knowledge, at least to the intelligent people of the world, that buying something from TV is never a safe bet, ESPECIALLY if its something "new" or "re vamped."

And it's even more annoying when they pretend as if a similar product has never been on the market and they are creating something completely new. *cough* Slap Chop *cough*

And they ALSO make it seem like without this product, your life is going to END. As if the product they created will make your entire life easier, will change your luck, will open up the heavens and persuade God to bless you with the ability to solve every problem in your life financially, socially, and emotionally.

Most of all I hate this FUCKING nail polish that's SUPPOSED TO BE GLOW IN THE DARK. But it's DEFINITELY NOT.

I HATE IT!

#997 Corporate Anti-Vegetarianism

2009-07-31T12:49:00.000-07:00

Me: Do you guys like...have a salad without meat?

Wendy's Girl: Uh...yeah our Caesar Side Salad...and our Regular Side Salad...

Me: Alright can i just have the Caesar Side Salad? No meat, right?

Wendy's Girl: (With 'TUDE) Yeah no I just said, no meat.

(20 minutes later, in my car, far away from Wendy's)

Me: Yeah this salad has bacon bits in it.

Now I know it's a little unfair to label the entire Wendy's chain anti-vegetarian. But seriously, a paying customer should expect certain things from food the service industry.

I expect that the person serving me, educated or not, should know what they're selling. I expect them to know their product enough to know what it has and does not have. I expect my cashier to know that bacon is, in fact, meat and I expect to not have meat in my salad when I've been given an "are-you-freaking-dumb? I-just-said-there-was-no-meat" attitude.

For future reference, I'm donating the following diagram to the Wendy's corporation for training purposes. They can place it right beside the "Employees Must Wash Hands" signs placed in the back. They should also send it through corporate e-mails so it can be passed down in an umbrella-like fashion, all the way down to the cashiers.

The very concept of putting bacon bits in a salad is ridiculous in the first place. Nevermind the fact that I'm a vegetarian, people order salads as a healthier option. It's SO much healthier, I bet, now that you've doused it with chunks of fried crunchy pig. It's like...hey, I'm a smoker, but I'm going to quit smoking because I heard it's harmful. I'm going to place my DSLs around a non-filtered Massachussets School Bus exhaust pipe instead.

Don't get me started on the fact that they don't really even have real vegetarian options. As if this would alienate the rest of their customers or feel they'll lose money because having a 94 percent meat menu realy isn't enough meat. Effing meat quota or some effing thing.

I HATE IT!

#998 People who tailgate my vehicle.

2009-07-31T11:23:00.000-07:00

I know I posted an entry not too long ago but I just got home after driving to CVS with my friend. On the way there these assholes in a Lexus tailgated me most of the way. I was reminded of how aggravating driving can be. What did they expect? There were people in front of me. What was I going to do? "Go-go gadget hovercraft!!!"...or whatever. The worst is when they drive to the side (like in the picture) to see what is going on in front of me. Thanks for being my eyes asshole. I KNOW what the fuck is happening in front of me and you acting like a douchebag isn't going to help the situation. Don't they think that if I had tons of space in front of me I would drive a little faster? Every time I catch a glimpse of these tailgaters they're always laughing at me and most of the time they're a bunch of guys or "Wangstas". There's always the one sitting in the middle of his two friends in the backseat leaning forward and pointing. I just want to slam on my brakes and watch him fly through the windshield and over my car. The other day I was driving downtown and this large truck was behind me and was inches away from my bumper. He ALMOST hit me when I stopped at a red light. The best part is that those people then proceed to get angry at you like it's YOUR fault. Oh and the speed limit is 35 and I'm already going 40. Sorry but I'm not going to go 50+ just to make you happy. I drive at the speed limit and if you don't like it you can screw.

Part of me thinks that they're just jealous of my car. I mean look at it (it's the red car).
I'm coming to the conclusion that they just want to sabotage the beauty that is my 1996 Honda hatchback. You don't find those babies anymore and I'm one of the few lucky owners. Those bitches just miss having to scoot over to the passenger seat to roll down the window and let's not forget the joy of having to get out of the car in order to let your homies into the backseat. I know, I know. Be jealous assholes.

But I swear to GOD almighty ONE DAY I am going to slam on my brakes so hard that the people behind me won't know what happened.

"Sorry officer. A squirrel ran in front of my car!!"

Don't worry. I already have an entire speech memorized.

I HATE IT!

#999 The 80's

2009-07-31T09:29:00.000-07:00

Alright. Why would ANYONE ever want the 80's to come back?? I watch/read a lot of style vlogs and blogs and so many people are filled with this insane glee when they purchase something they THINK was in style in the 1980's.
Baggy sweatshirts with Mickey Mouse printed on them. I actually heard a girl say she wanted one and that she would search every thrift store until she found one. You were born in the late 1980's therefore, you have no idea how much torment a teen during the 80's suffered whilst wearing one of those sweatshirts. It may be cool to you now but if you were 14 in 1983 walking around the halls of your high school getting records of Billy Joel's hit single, "Uptown Girl" thrown at you...HA, you would think a little differently wouldn't you?
p.s. look at how miserable that person looks in that photo. Really gaze into her/his eyes.

I just can't stand it. They call clothes from the 80's 'vintage'. It's NOT vintage. It's SHIT. There I said it. You're not cooler if you buy a pair of gel sandals and a B.U.M. sweatshirt and wear them with your favorite pair of tights and a fedora. I have a photograph of me from the first grade and in it I'm wearing a B.U.M. sweatshirt and holding a stuffed animal Huskey. Whenever I look at that photograph I now understand why that kid Tyler said he wanted to smash a pair of soccer cleats into my face. I understand! It HAD to be the 80's style clothing my parents made me wear.

I don't know why it annoys me. Do people think they're fasionistas because they wear that crap?
I doubt they even like it. They just buy it to make a statement. What kind of statement are you making? "Oh look every body! I'm a douchebag!" Down below is an example of what modern clothing stores are putting on their shelves. I don't understand. How is that attractive? OH WAIT, I know! Because the 80's are coming back!!!!!

I HATE IT.

#1000 When you have more constructive things to do, but you start a hate-blog instead

2009-07-31T08:37:00.000-07:00

Sam: I hate when I accidentally bite my cheek while eating. GAH!

Jayo: Oh man. that's on my worst hated list. In fact...because I'm such a negative person...I will start a blog called #1000 things we hate

Sam: OMG. Do it! Please.

Jayo: Oh man...I could make you and anyone else a co-writer so there'll be constant updates. haha

Sam: LMAO. That's a genius idea. Together we hate so many things!

Jayo: Haha. We're haters.

Sam: :)

Jayo: Hold on...this will take 11 seconds.

DONE! E-mail me at noypi1@gmail.com or facebook me (or sam) if you want in on this educational, thrilling experience.

I should really be doing something constructive though, like reading or developing instrument skill. But I've resorted to blogging.

I HATE IT!